Little John the Baptist

I didn't write this... but I just had to share this. 

~~Matt..18:4-5 ~~  "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

.... She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

Things to Remember

I love sharing fun things that I have received in an email.  This is one of those things.  I thought it was something very nice. I hope you enjoy.

• Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
• Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
• Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
• A bumble bee is considerably faster than any tractor.
• The words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
• Meanness don't just happen overnight.
• Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
• Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
• You can't unsay a cruel word.
• Every path has a few puddles.
• When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
• Most of the stuff people worry about are never gonna happen anyway.
• Don't judge folks by their relatives, but by their friends.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer, but you can always have an opinion.
• Live a good, honorable life.. when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• Don't interfere with something that isn't bothering you any.
• Timing has got a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
• Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every morning.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
• If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

Things My Mother Taught Me!

I got this list in an email; and I laughed the whole way through reading it. I hope you get a good chuckle from it too!

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -

"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me more LOGIC -

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST -

"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -

"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -

"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -

"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING -

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE -

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD -

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP -

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR -

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT -

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS -

"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE -

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite... JUSTICE -

"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!"